STRESSING OUT YOUR FAMILY

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          Being stressed is a little like having a cold. Others can catch it. When you’re stressed, your moods change, your behavior changes, and you trigger a downward spiral of negative interactions. You may find yourself more angry, more upset, and more worried. You’re not the same you.

Your relationships

                   In a recent survey, 21 percent of those responding said that stress was negatively affecting their friendships. Nineteen percent said that stress was hurting their marriages. When you’re distressed — anxious, upset, worried — your happiness level tanks. Your fuse gets shorter, and you become more irritable. People under stress can withdraw emotionally and communicate less. Friends and family may not understand what’s going on and in turn become stressed. The cycle can escalate, leading to even more distress.

Your kids

                   Most parents don’t think their stress affects their children. They’re wrong. Just ask the kids. Ninety-one percent of children say they know when their parents are stressed. How do they know? They can see the worrying, yelling, complaining, and arguing. And they in turn become stressed. Children who see their parents stressing out tend to become stressed themselves.

                   A large survey completed in 2010 found that only 14 percent of children say that their parents’ stress doesn’t bother them. When children see their parents stressed or worried, they can also feel sad, worried, and frustrated. And it’s not just their emotions that are affected. That same study found that nearly one-third reported physical health symptoms that tend to be stress-related. Thirty-eight percent reported trouble falling asleep at night. One-third experienced headaches, and almost one-third reported having an upset stomach in the past month. Chronic stress can also impair children’s developmental growth by lowering the production of growth hormone from the pituitary gland. Traumatic, stressful experiences in childhood can cause damage to developing bodies and brains that lasts into adulthood.

Copyright © Allen Elkin Phd – Originally appeared in Stress Management for Dummies 2^nd edition by Allen Elkin