FACING ROADBLOCKS

If you recall your last attempt at losing a few pounds or getting rid of all the clutter in your house, you may recognize that good intentions don’t always guarantee success. Almost always, you encounter one or two roadblocks. But being aware of potential obstacles in your path and figuring out ways of avoiding them makes reaching your goal more likely.

Here are some of the more commonly experienced roadblocks (whether your goal is managing stress, cutting clutter, or whatever) and some ways to help you avoid them:

1.     I don’t have time.

2.     I’m too busy.

3.     I have too much stuff to learn.

4.     It’s too much work.

5.     It’s not my cup of tea.

6.     I tried it once and it didn’t work.

Each of these excuses contains at least a grain of truth. But each of them can act as a roadblock, slowing or stopping you from getting the most out of your stress management efforts. In the following sections, I give you some ideas and suggestions to help you get around these potential obstacles.

Take it a step at a time

Learning any new skill takes time. The trick is not to tackle everything at once but rather to spread your learning out over time. Start slowly; don’t overwhelm yourself. Set aside 15 or 20 minutes in your day and practice one of the methods or techniques in this book. It may be on your way to work in the morning, during a coffee break, on your lunch hour, or after work when you come home.

Give it a try

A few of the approaches in this book may feel a tad foreign and not immediately comfortable. Yet, with a little getting used to, these techniques may be the very ones you routinely use later on. You may not think, for example, that the breathing exercises are your thing, but you may be pleasantly surprised to find them wonderfully calming and relaxing. Many years ago, when I first began exploring various stress-management methods, I felt lukewarm about meditation as a relaxation tool. Now I swear by it. Hey, you never know. Keep an open mind. Give everything at least one good try.

Accept your different strokes

Although being open-minded about relaxation techniques is important, you ultimately need to put together a package of tools that reflects your personality and lifestyle. No two people are exactly alike. One size rarely fits all. For one person, the picture of ideal relaxation may be lying on a beach in the Caribbean with a page-turner in one hand and a piña colada in the other. For someone else, this scenario may trigger some an eye-rolling “Do I have to?” His or her idea of a relaxing vacation may be visiting every museum that’s open. The general rule is, if you aren’t comfortable with a technique or strategy, you’re less likely to make it a part of your life. If meditation doesn’t do anything for you, that’s fine; move on to something that does.

Practice to make perfect

Most of the methods and techniques presented in these pages require some practice before you can master them. Even though you can pick them up pretty quickly at an intellectual level, you need to spend some time repeating them to truly reap their benefits. Don’t give up too easily. Learning to ride a bike, drive a car, and play tennis all take time. Why should discovering how to manage the stress in your life be worth less time and effort?

Find a quiet place

You need a place to do all this practicing. Hopefully, you can find one that’s relatively quiet and relaxing, at least for a short period of time. Given the realities of your life, your quiet place may have to be a setting that is far from ideal. Your office — when the door is shut — may work for you. You can also try your bedroom at home, or your car when you’re stopped in traffic or commuting to work.

Link up

          Listening to audio instructions can be a marvelous way to learn and practice many of the relaxation and stress-reducing exercises presented in this book.                        

Get a stress buddy

Doing something by yourself can be hard. Losing weight, going to the gym, and stopping smoking are all easier when you do them with a friend. The same holds true for stress management. See if you can interest a friend in joining you. Your stress buddy can gently prod you to practice and put your new skills into daily use.

Don’t expect overnight results

You’ve spent years creating your stress-producing styles and patterns. Fortunately, changing these patterns takes a lot less time, but it still takes some time. You need to change your behaviors and thinking, not to mention modify your lifestyle and work style. You get there step by step. See yourself as being part of a program that looks at your daily encounters and experiences as opportunities for growth and change.
Copyright © Allen Elkin Phd – Originally appeared in Stress Management for Dummies 2^nd edition by Allen Elkin