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| livesofawoman.com |
Of all the ways to relax, probably
the one that evokes the most suspicion is meditation. When you think of
meditation, chances are you conjure up images of bearded gents in saffron robes
sitting in the lotus position. You feel that this wouldn’t go over well at the
office. It’s not surprising that you may be a wee bit leery about jumping in
and joining the movement. Yet, it’s likely that you have already meditated. You
may not have been aware that you were doing so, but at those times when your
mind becomes calm, uncluttered, and focused, and you’re not processing your day
or thinking about a million things — you’re doing something that closely
resembles meditating.
The
sections that follow present meditation as an important stress-reducing tool
that fits nicely in your stress toolbox.
East comes West
People
in the East — especially those who subscribe to certain religious or
philosophical beliefs — have been practicing meditation for literally thousands
of years. These practitioners use meditation as a means to search for and find
inner peace, enlightenment, and harmony with the universe.
Meditation
has not received such ready acceptance in the western world, however.
Westerners have tended to view meditation as foreign and remote, and sometimes
as religious zealotry. In the ’60s, when the Maharishi — a then-popular guru —
came along, westerners began to associate meditation with a somewhat wild fringe
group of society.
Researchers
have been aware of the positive effects of meditation for some time now.
Herbert Benson, M.D., of the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind-Body Medicine at
Massachusetts General Hospital, was one of the first to adapt and introduce
meditation to broader western audiences. Since then, the principles and
practice of meditation have enjoyed widespread acceptance and enthusiasm in the
West.
“What can meditation do
for me, anyway?”
The
benefits of meditation are wide and varied. You’ll notice many of those
benefits immediately, but others are less obvious, affecting you in more subtle
ways. Most importantly, meditation can help you relax your mind and body and
turn off your inner thoughts. Meditating can help you feel less stressed; your
body will be less tense, and your mind will be calmer. With some practice,
after meditating you should feel rested, renewed, and recharged. Meditation
allows you to develop greater control over your thoughts, worries, and
anxieties. It’s a skill that, once mastered, can serve you well throughout your
life.
But it’s harder than it
looks
Meditating
for a short period of time (like a minute) is pretty do-able. The challenge is
being able to meditate for longer periods of time. Westerners in particular
have some built-in resistance to meditating. You may share some of the
following traits:
Westerners like to be busy: You probably like to be active and do things, rather than
be passive and let things happen to you. Lengthy periods of immobility tend to
elicit feelings of boredom and restlessness.
Westerners need scorecards: You may feel a need to evaluate yourself on how well you’re
doing. If, after a brief period of practice, you find that you’re doing well,
you may rate yourself — and your performance — accordingly. One of the keys to
meditation is not rating yourself — good or bad.
None
of this should discourage you or deter you from practicing your meditative
skills. No, you won’t become an accomplished meditator in 12 minutes. However,
you may be surprised at how quickly you begin to see positive results. I
repeat: Stick with it. The results are well worth it.
Preparing to meditate
This
section presents a step-by-step guide to preparing for meditation. Remember
that there are many ways of meditating. These suggestions help you prepare for
different types of meditation, especially the exercises featured in this
chapter.
1. Find a quiet place where you won’t be
disturbed for a while.
No
telephone, no beeper, no TV — nothing.
2. Find a comfortable sitting
position. Contorting
yourself into some yogi-like, snake-charmer squat (albeit impressive) may not
be the best way to start meditating. Remember that you’re going to remain in
one position for fifteen to twenty minutes.
3. Focus on a sound, word, sensation,
image, object, or thought.
4. Maintain your focus and adopt a
passive, accepting attitude.
When
you’re focusing in meditation, intrusive thoughts or images may enter your mind
and distract you. When those thoughts occur, notice them, accept the fact that
they’re there, and then let them go: No getting upset, no annoyance, no
self-rebuke.
Try
not to get hung up on the timing. Meditate for about fifteen or twenty minutes.
If you want to meditate longer, fine. If you find you’re becoming
uncomfortable, you can stop and try it again another time. Remember, this is a
non-pressured, non-ego-involved exercise.
After
you have everything in place, you’re ready to begin meditating. Although you
have many forms of meditation to choose from, the most common ones are
breath-counting meditation and meditation with a mantra. The following sections
deal with each type.
Meditative breathing
Breath-counting
meditation is one of the most basic and commonly used forms of meditation.
Here’s what to do:
1. Sit comfortably.
You
can position yourself on the floor or in a chair. Keep your back straight and
your head up. Dress comfortably, as well — no tight shoes, belt, necktie,
underpants, bra, or anything else that constricts you.
2. Close your eyes and scan for tension.
3. Begin to breathe in a relaxed way.
Relax
by taking some abdominal breaths (breathing using your diaphragm). Breathe
slowly and deeply through your nose.
To
help you breathe in a relaxing manner, imagine a small balloon just under your
belly button. As you inhale through your nostrils, imagine that balloon gently
inflating; as you exhale through your nostrils, imagine the balloon slowly
deflating.
4. Focus on your breathing.
Your
breathing now becomes the object of your focus. When you inhale, count this
breath as “one.”
The
next time you inhale is two, and so forth until you reach ten. Then you start
again at one. Count silently to yourself, and if you lose count, simply start
back at one. If you lose count, don’t worry — the number is merely something to
focus on. There’s no right or wrong number here.
5. If you find a distracting thought or
image intruding, let it go and return to your count.
Continue
this exercise for about 20 minutes, and — if you can — do this exercise twice a
day.
Meditating with a
mantra
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| apprising.org |
Probably
the best known and most popular form of meditation is meditation using a
mantra. A mantra is a sound or word that you repeat; it can help you focus your
mind and avoid distractions. After you select your mantra, you’re ready to put
it to use:
1. Sit quietly, either in a chair or on
the floor as you did for the breathing meditation detailed in the preceding
section.
Eliminate
any distractions. Close your eyes and relax as much as you can.
2. Start with some deep breathing and
try to clear your mind of the day’s hassle and worry.
Remember
not to breathe with your chest alone. Breathe until you notice that you feel
much more relaxed. (About a dozen breaths should do it).
3. Do a body scan to see where any residual tension may be hiding.
4. Focus on your breathing and begin to repeat your mantra to yourself,
either repeating it silently or chanting it softly.
As
you say your mantra, see the word in your head. Repeat your mantra over and
over. Find a timing and rhythm that is comfortable for you. As before, if you
find your concentration slipping, simply become aware of that fact and gently
guide your mind back to your mantra.
Do
this exercise for about 20 minutes or so and try to squeeze in as many meditative
sessions as you can in your week.
Finding time for
mini-meditations
Someone
once asked a meditation teacher, “How long should I meditate?” “For about 20
minutes,” the wise man answered, quickly adding, “but five minutes of
meditation you do is better than 20 minutes of meditation you plan on doing,
but don’t.”
I
recognize that you may not have 20 minutes twice a day to peacefully meditate
in some quiet corner. And even if you have the time, you may find that your
boss — who is not nearly as enlightened as you are — frowns on your meditative
sessions. Fortunately, you can practice “abbreviated” forms of meditation —
they can be as long or as short as the time you have available. You can
“mini-meditate” when you find a few extra minutes, for example, during the
following listed opportunities. (I don’t advise meditating in your car, unless
you’re the passenger.)
1. Sitting in traffic (if you’re the
passenger)
2. Waiting for your doctor or dentist to
see you
3. Standing (for what seems like
forever) in line
4. Sitting in a boring meeting (where
you don’t have to present anything, and won’t be asked questions)
5. Riding the bus, subway, or taxicab
Copyright © Allen Elkin Phd – Originally appeared in Stress Management for Dummies 2nd edition by Allen Elkin
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