WHAT ME WORRY?

youthareawesome.com

Worrying is one of the major ways your mind stays revved and keeps you stressed. You may find yourself worrying during the day or at three in the morning when you’d rather be sleeping. You may worry about a relationship or how you’re going to come up with the money to pay for all the things you charged this month. Whatever your worry, it may be keeping your mind running a mile a minute.. It provides you with a number of effective techniques and strategies that can help you reduce and control those distressing worries. However, here are two simple strategies that should give you some stress relief and reduce your level of worrying.

                                      Scheduling your worries

          Sometimes your worries cry out for a solution. You can’t leave them be. Distraction or evasion may provide some temporary relief, but they aren’t the answer. These may be real problems or issues that need to be resolved: How are you going to get a better job? How can you help your child be happier at school? How do you tell your significant other that you want to break up? Trying to resolve these stressors in the moment may not be a good idea for at least two reasons:

1.    It’s 3 a.m. and you need your sleep.

2.    You’re too stressed, and your thinking is muddled and distorted.

          One solution is to schedule a time when you can problem solve and figure out what to do. It may be “tomorrow morning at breakfast” or “this weekend when I’m at the gym.” Rita, for example, is ruminating endlessly but getting nowhere, trying to figure out how to tell her manager that she’s bored with what she’s doing and wants a change. She schedules a morning meeting with herself at a coffee shop. At the “meeting,” she puts down on paper some thoughts about what she wants to say. She rehearses how she will present her ideas. Her thinking is clearer, more focused, and less emotional than it would have been at 3 a.m. or at the end of another long, frustrating day at work.

                                      Blowing up your worries

          Sometimes humor can help you diffuse a worry. It can help you gain perspective and look at your worry at a distance. For example, suppose you’re worried that you may say something dumb at a meeting. “OMG,” you’re thinking, “this is awful!” You ruminate, over-worry, and cause yourself more grief than is appropriate.

Instead, try blowing up the consequences:

“OMG, they’ll be laughing at me forever! I’ll be the office joke! Posters of me will be plastered in the kitchen. Every year they’ll set aside a special day memorializing my gaff!”

I don’t think so.

          Striking up the band (or better yet, the string quartet)

          As playwright William Congreve observed, music has charms to soothe the savage breast. He was right, though he could have added the savage leg, arm, jaw, and others parts of the human anatomy. Music therapists know that listening to music can result in significant physiological changes in your body: Your heart rate drops, your breathing slows, and your blood pressure lowers. But not all music does the trick. Some music can upset you, making you more stressed. (Think of that Metallica groupie living upstairs.) Other music may delight you but still not have a calming effect.

                                      Go for Baroque

          Following is a short list of field-tested composers and compositions (Baroque and otherwise) that should slow your pulse.

          Bach: The slower second movements are particularly appropriate for relaxation. “Air on the G String” is a real calmer.

          Handel: Water Music.

          Chopin: Nocturnes.

          Schubert: Symphony No. 8 in B Minor.

          Pachelbel: Canon.

           Albinoni: Adagio in G Minor.

          Mozart: Piano Concerto No. 21.

           Beethoven: Symphony No. 6, also known as the Pastoral Symphony.

           Elgar: Salut d’Amour.

          Not a fan of the classics?

          Of course, relaxing music need not all be classical. Bach and Mozart probably aren’t as effective as Charles Mingus if you’re a jazz fan. Other forms of music can be incredibly soothing. Many of the New Age recordings work nicely.

          No one piece of music works for everyone. Experiment. Find what relaxes you. Listen in your car while commuting, in bed before going to sleep, and in your favorite chair in your favorite room. Headphones and a personal music player allow you to take your music — and a state of relaxation — wherever you go.

                                      Visiting the rain forest

          Some years ago, I was vacationing by the ocean, and as I was lolling by the water, I was transfixed by the soothing sounds of the waves rhythmically caressing the shore. Gee, I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I could have this sound lull me to sleep in my home in the city? Well, I can, and so can you.

          These days, electronic sound machines can reproduce virtually any sound you can imagine. These machines cost dramatically less than they did just a few years ago and are also available as apps on your laptop or smartphone. So if, like me, you like the sounds of waves, no sweat. Or how about a tropical rain forest? Perhaps you like to be soothed by the sound of rain on a roof, a gurgling brook, or a beating heart. Your choice.

                                      Using some common scents

          Your ears aren’t the only road to mental relaxation. Your nose can work, as well. People have been using scents to relieve stress and tension for centuries. An aroma can elicit feelings of calm and serenity. In fact, a school of therapy called aromatherapy, a complementary and alternative treatment to medicine, is devoted to using your sense of smell as a vehicle for emotional change.

          Studies carried out by Alan Hirsch, M.D., neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, suggest that there is a connection between smell and mood: Your mood may have a biological basis.

          Dr. Hirsch found that the part of the brain that registers smell may be biologically linked to the part of the brain that registers emotion. Certainly, the right scent can relax you and put you in a better mood. Here are some easy-to-find, soul-satisfying smells you may want to consider:

1.    A bowl of green apples on your table

2.    Suntan lotion

3.    Vanilla extract

4.    Freshly baked just-about-anything

5.    Soaps, hand creams, bath oils, perfumes, and aftershave

6.    Freshly brewed coffee

Light up

          Candles can be a wonderful addition to your repertoire of stress-reducing devices. A burning candle connotes romance, warmth, peace, and a sense of tranquility. The flickering of the flame can be hypnotic. Burning scented candles only adds to the effect. Which scent to use depends upon what you find most pleasant and appealing. Vanilla and floral fragrances tend to be most relaxing. Often these aromas recall pleasant memories of childhood. And just think of the money you can save on your electric bill.

                                      Mix your own aroma cocktail

          If you have no time to bake bread or perk coffee, try concocting your own stress-reducing aroma by using commercially available oils. “Essential oils” and “natural oils” tend to produce better therapeutic benefits, but synthetic oils are less costly. You can buy these pleasing fragrances from a number of shops or mail-order places. You can find essential oils in gourmet shops or at craft stores at a price far less than in a more upscale boutique or spa. If you’re in a do-it-yourself mood, you can find books at your local library that show you how to derive essential oils from flowers. Some of the more common oils used to induce a relaxed, calm state are lavender, rose, jasmine, chamomile, orange blossom, vanilla, bergamot, geranium, and sandalwood. Often, you can combine oils to produce a new, relaxing aroma.

Copyright © Allen Elkin Phd – Originally appeared in Stress Management for Dummies 2^nd edition by Allen Elkin